It's a Wonderful Unlife
by Joyce Renee
Summary: What if Spike had never been born.....................


Title: It's a Wonderful Unlife

Author: Joyce Renee

E-mail: Jrenee@aol.com

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not even the idea. Don't sue!

Rating: Pg-13

Spoilers: major spoilers up to 'Fool for Love' 

Summary: It's a spoof of the Christmas movie, It's a Wonderful Life with James Stewart and Donna Reed.

Note: This takes place in season 5 after Riley left, but before Joyce dies, and the events of 'Crush' will not happen.

Feedback: The best kind of Christmas Present!

It's a Wonderful Unlife

Chapter One~ The Prayers

A young man was kneeling next to a park bench on Christmas Eve.

"Uh, okay. I feel a little stupid doing this, but here goes."

Xander took a deep breath and glanced around the yard, making sure that no one was around to hear him. He'd been sitting on the bench trying to come up with a solution to his problem when it suddenly occurred to him that it was just too much for him to handle. He needed help. They all did. 

He'd only prayed once before in his life. He'd been five years old at the time. His father was drunk and was hitting his mom, again. Xander had covered his head with a pillow trying to tune out the sounds of angry shouting. After praying that they'd stop, they just got louder. He'd never prayed again. He figured if 'God' or whoever had actually heard him, they didn't care, so why bother?

But this was important. It had to do with the Slayer, and the fate of the world. Surely the mighty Power's that Be would pay attention this time. Well, it wasn't as if he had a lot of options anyway.

"Okay. God? Or whoever can hear me up there? We need help. He needs help. Uh, I mean Spike. He's upset, who wouldn't be? But I think he's gonna do something drastic you know? I know he hasn't been the best guy, er vampire to have around, but we do need him. I have faith in Buffy, really I do. But I don't think that she can do this without him. And if she can't do it, we all die. And I... I can't believe I'm on my knees praying for a vampire. Well, help him please? Uh, Amen."

"Xander? What's going on? Why are you talking to yourself?" Anya asked, curious as to why her boyfriend was on his knees.

"I'm not talking to myself, I'm praying."

"Oh! Are you going to be all religious now? You're not going to be a priest, are you? Cause you know, priests don't have sex." she told him, suddenly worried.

"No, I'm not going to be a Priest! Honey, some serious things are going on, and I don't know if we're gonna get through this alive." Xander said taking her hands.

"You're talking about the Hellmouth opening? Don't worry about that! Buffy and Spike will stop it." she said confidently.

"Spike's disappeared."

Anya pondered his words for a minute before dropping to her knees.

"Please help Spike. Make him come back so we won't die."

**********

"I know, Spike has tried to kill us before. And he betrays us every chance he gets. And he is an evil vampire, but he's our evil vampire and we need him." Willow pleaded as she knelt beside her bed.

"He's not bad all of the time, I mean he made me feel better after Oz left, granted he was trying to kill me, but he's not trying to kill me anymore and.. oh please! Just help him! Please?!"

Tara came and knelt beside Willow.

"He helped prove to my family I wasn't a demon. I ask you to help him like he helped me. Only you don't have to hurt his nose!"

Willow smiled at her. 

"Amen."

**********

"Spike sure did look bad when he left here. He's been pretty decent to me I guess. And according to that Xander kid the fate of the world may depend on him. And being in the world..." Willy looked around the empty bar and sighed.

"Help him, God. He needs help only you can give."

Shaking his head he went back to cleaning up.

**********

"Dear Lord, I pray every night that you bring my daughter home safe and sound. And every night she comes home. I'm so thankful for that. But tonight I pray for Spike. I can't help but feel protective of him. And Buffy needs him. So, please. Bring him home safe and sound tonight. Amen." Joyce Summers sighed, and headed up the stairs to check on Dawn before going to bed.

**********

"God, I heard mom praying for Spike tonight. I knew there was something going on that was more serious than Buffy was saying! She thinks it's better if I don't know all of the details, and maybe she's right. I guess Spike must be important for whatever is going on, so I'm praying for him too. So, help him or whatever. Thanks." Dawn turned off her lamp and climbed beneath the covers feeling confident that everything would be all right now.

**********

"This may be it. We need him back if we're going to pull this off. Spike is so much more important than I had originally imagined. Please help him, Lord. Or I fear this will be the end of us all." Giles got up to retrieve another book hoping, in vain, to find another way.

**********

"Spike! Spike? Spike, please, where are you?!" Buffy called as she jogged up and down the quiet streets of Sunnydale.

The silence seemed to mock her pleas and for a moment she felt a deep pang of despair. Spike looked ready to kill himself before he'd run off earlier. If that were the case, they were all doomed. 

She stopped to catch her breath, and then looked up questioningly at the night sky.

"If anybody up there is listening, please let me find him! He's our only hope."

She gasped as a shooting star suddenly crossed the sky. Hoping that was an answer, she picked up her pace and tried to think of where else to look.

**********

Chapter Two~ When you wish upon a star or How a demon gets his wings

Whistler sighed as he lifted his hand to knock on The door. He hated having to go before the Powers themselves, but this had to be done.

The door was opened and he knelt before Them to show respect.

"Is there trouble?" They asked.

"Yeah, there have been a lot of people asking help for a vampire named Spike."

"Spike?"

"Also known as William the Bloody."

"Oh, yes! Tonight is his crucial night. We must send someone down immediately. Who's turn is it?"

Whistler dared to lift his head as he said, "That bracken demon, Allen Francis Doyle."

"He still hasn't gotten his wings yet, hmm?"

"No, but it's time that he did."

"Very well. Send for him."

**********

Doyle looked up in awe at Them.

"You sent for me?" he asked nervously.

"Yes, Allen Francis Doyle.."

"Uh, just Doyle please."

"Very well, Doyle. Someone on Earth needs our help."

"Why? Are they sick?" he should've known that he wouldn't be getting to do any important jobs.

Despite dying a hero, Doyle didn't get much respect from anyone in this place that he would spend eternity.

"No, he's about to throw away the greatest gift he's ever received."

"Guy's gonna kill himself, is he? Take his own life?"

"Well, unlife anyway." It was Whistler who answered him this time.

Doyle turned to the demon standing beside him, noticing him for the first time.

"You want me to stop a vampire from killing himself? His name wouldn't be Angel by any chance, would it?"

"No, it's Spike."

"Spike?!!!!"

"Yes, you know of him?"

"Only in the sense that he threatened to kill me! Ain't no way I'm helping him, get someone else!"

"Doyle, you've been here how long?"

"Almost a year."

"And you still haven't earned your wings?"

"Well I uh,... no. And the others are starting to talk." he looked down at his feet.

"If you want your wings, you'll help him out."

"Okay, okay. But can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead."

"Why Spike, of all people or vampires?"

"He is an integral part of The Plan, and that is all that you need to know."

"Come with me kid." Whistler said as he led the way out.

*********

"How could one vampire be so important?" Doyle asked Whistler as they sat on a star that over looked the Earth.

"His importance is beyond your understanding." Whistler squirmed trying to get comfortable on the star.

"You think you were cheated out of your life? That you died too young? Your life on Earth would have been even shorter had Spike not been there."

"I don't understand."

"I guess I'll just have to show you, now close your eyes and concentrate."

**********

Chapter Three~ What Childe is This?

Doyle did as he was told, and suddenly found himself on a crowded street. He could tell by the clothes of the people around him that he had gone back in time.

"London, 1870." Whistler answered his unasked question, and motioned for Doyle to follow.

"Look.... out?" Doyle said as he watched a horse-drawn carriage go right through his companion.

"What? Oh, yeah, I forgot. We don't really exist in this place or time. Think of it as being able to walk into a movie and nothing that you say or do will have any affect on what happens." Whistler explained as he lead the way toward a group of young boys who were playing a game that looked similar to soccer.

The two demons got close enough to hear what was going on.

Doyle quietly watched the children play for a moment before asking, "I thought we were here to see Spike the vampire, remember? What is it, early afternoon? Vampires can't come out 'till sunset, you know?"

"What, do you think I'm some kinda idiot?! It's 1870, Spike the vampire won't exist for another ten years! Before he was a vampire Spike was human, a kid even." Whistler was having trouble being patient with his charge.

"Yeah, but how can seeing Spike as a human help me? I thought that when you become a vampire, a demon takes over. The human Spike is replaced by a demon. The human that Spike is now, is dead and gone forever, right?"

"Actually, it's the soul. The human's soul is gone, and a demon's soul takes it's place."

"Okay, so Spike has an evil demon soul. From what you said earlier, the good guys need him to help fight the good fight. Why? I get why Angel does it, he has a good human soul. But Spike doesn't. Why would he even think about helping the good guys out if all he is evil?"

"When a demon's soul takes over a body, it gains memories and experiences of the human's life. And for Spike, his demon soul gained something else that's more powerful than life and death."

"And what was that?"

"Love. Now watch."

**********

Doyle and Whistler were not the only ones watching the 'soccer' game. Off to the side stood a young boy with dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, who looked no more than ten. He was intently watching the game, and the look on his face, said that he longed to join in.

Suddenly, the ball was kicked toward him, and he caught it in his hands. One of the boys playing, ran to get it from him.

"Phillip? Can I play too?" the blonde boy asked as the other boy snatched the ball from his hands. 

Phillip looked him over before laughing in his face.

"Hey Phil! What's going on?" another boy asked as he ran to join them.

"Get this! William the nancy-boy wants to play ball with us!" Phillip laughed.

The other boy regarded William for a moment before saying, "Okay. He can be on my team."

"What?! No way am I playing with the likes of him!" Phillip shouted, disgusted at the thought.

"Yeah, well it's my ball and I say who can and can't play."

William watched wide eyed and speechless as the two boys stared each other down, before Phillip backed off.

"Fine! But when you lose because of wimpy here, don't blame me!" And with that Phillip stomped away.

William was shocked and a little embarrassed. He'd never had anyone stand up for him before.

"Th-thank you, but I don't think Phillip wants me to play. I don't want to make him angry." he stammered, looking down at his shoes.

"Oh, don't pay any attention to that stupid sod! He's terrible at playing this game anyway! My name is Henry."

The two boys shook hands before returning to the ball game.

Doyle turned to Whistler, "Let me guess, Spike used to be Phillip, the red-headed bully, right?"

"Nope. William."

"What? The big bad vampire Spike used to be a scrawny little nothing?"

"William's greatest strength has always been his heart."

Doyle watched as the scene in front of him faded, and he was back on the star.

"William made a friend that day. He and Henry were inseparable after that."

"Okay, so what about this love that you were telling me about? Did he fall in love with Henry?"

"He loved Henry, not in the way you mean. William didn't truly experience love for another five years. "

"Our next stop?"

"London, 1875."

**********

William and Henry were walking down the street, unusually silent. Henry had told William that he needed to talk to him about something very important.

For the past five years, the young men had been best friends. William had never had a friend before. And, being an only child whose rich parents constantly neglected and sometimes even forgot about him altogether, he was always desperately afraid of scarring Henry away.

So lost in his troubled thoughts, William failed to notice the beautiful young woman who was hurriedly walking right toward him. The two ran right into each other, the woman falling to the ground and dropping a book.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Miss." William said, helping the girl back to her feet.

"Yes, well you should watch where you're going." she huffed.

William, who's face had turned a bright shade of red, picked up her book and looked at it.

"Poetry?" he asked before she snatched it from his hands.

"I happen to like poetry." she said, before scurrying away.

William stared after her, clearly smitten.

"Who was that?"

"Her name is Cecily." Henry grinned at his best friend.

"Be still my heart." William whispered, every bone in his body demanding that he follow this dark haired goddess.

He had never felt this way before in his entire life. A warm feeling spread through his chest, and a large grin was plastered to his normally solemn face.

"Hello? William, are you even listening to me?" Henry asked, tapping his shoulder.

"What? Did you say something?"

"Let's get a drink, I still need to talk to you. You can chase after girls later, okay?"

**********

The two men entered a Pub and sat down at their favorite table. After getting drinks and chatting for a few minutes about nothing, Henry took a deep breath and began his tale.

Henry told William how his father had sat him down last night and told him of his destiny. That he was to be a watcher. 

"What is a watcher?" William asked.

"I can't tell you too much William, I could get us both in a lot of trouble."

He proceeded to tell William about vampires and demons.

"Vampires?" William laughed.

"I know, I laughed too. Until my father killed one, right in front of me."

"You're serious, aren't you?" William asked, when he noticed that Henry was not laughing.

"So, as a watcher, you kill vampires?"

"Among other things, yes."

"How?"

"Well, a wooden stake through the heart, sun light, beheading, and a few others."

"Well, tell me! I want to be a watcher too!" he pleaded.

"You can't! It's a bloodline kind of thing. I have to go and be trained in the ways of a watcher, and you can't come with me."

As Henry watched the tears start to slip down his friends face, he felt his own begin to sting his eyes.

"What will I do without you?"

"You'll make new friends! And don't forget Cecily..." he trailed off, unable to talk around the lump that had formed in his throat.

"She likes poetry." William whispered as he smiled through his tears.

William wiped his eyes and cleared his throat.

"When do you leave?"

"Two weeks."

**********

Two weeks later William was walking Henry to meet his boat at the docks. Henry would spend the next year in Tibet being trained in a new style of fighting. 

William blinked back tears as he shook Henry's hand. Both somehow knew that they would never again see each other, although neither said it aloud.

"Goodbye my friend, I shall never forget you." Henry said before quickly turning on his heal and walking toward the waiting boat.

He didn't trust himself to look back at William. He'd have plenty of time for tears in the five weeks that it would take to reach his destination. 

The dark streets around him where deserted and Henry wondered again why the captain had insisted on leaving at mid-night. 

He heard a noise and quickly glanced over his shoulder, eyes darting frantically in all directions. Suddenly he wished that William had walked all the way with him.

He didn't have time to dwell on this thought, however, because he was suddenly on his back with a hideous looking beast looming above him.

A vampire!

Some watcher he was! He didn't even have a stake on him. He felt the pain of the vampires fangs piercing his neck, but all he could think about was William. He hoped that his friend would get home safely.

Suddenly, the vampire vanished and it was William that was now standing over Henry. A stake fell from William's hand, and he looked at the pile of ashes in awe.

"Bloody hell! You were right all along." William said as he helped Henry to his feet.

The two friends were silent for a moment. They just stood there, studying the pile of dust and contemplating what had just happened.

"You saved my life, William."

"You'd do the same for me."

The men embraced then, and let the tears fall, unashamed.

"Good luck, Henry. I wouldn't wish your job on anybody." 

There was nothing left to say. 

William watched as the ship pulled away from the harbor.

"Goodbye, Henry Giles." he whispered before hurrying home.

*********

"Did he every see Henry again?" Doyle asked.

"No, but I hear he still sees Henry's great-great-grandson." Whistler replied, hiding a smile.

"So what happened next? Did he ever get together with Cecily? Did he kill anymore vampires?" Doyle questioned.

He was now captivated by Spike's story, and eager to see the rest. 

"See for yourself."

**********

Doyle suddenly found himself standing in a huge den filled with richly dressed people.

"London, 1880." Whistler answered his unasked question.

Suddenly the room was filled with laughter.

"Haven't you heard?" a woman called out, "They call him 'William the Bloody' because he writes bloody awful poetry!"

Doyle finally spotted his charge in an empty corner of the room. He was sitting on a couch talking quietly with a woman, Cecily. Doyle walked closer so he could hear what was being said.

"I love you, Cecily."

"Please stop!" she turned to face away from him.

"I..I know I'm a bad poet, but I'm a good man." 

He took her hands in his own.

"All I ask is that you see me ...."

"I do see you! That's the problem." she interrupted, "You're nothing to me William."

She rose to her feet, and sending him one last glance, said "You're beneath me."

She hurried away.

William's crushed look penetrated Doyle's very soul, and caused him to gasp aloud at the pain that radiated from this young man.

"Hurry! There's more to see." Whistler said as the pair followed a distraught William who had darted out the door.

Doyle felt a sense of dread wash over him as he saw the familiar face around the corner.

Angel. No, not Angel. Angelus. He was walking with two beautiful women, and seemed unfazed as William barreled right into him.

"Bloody watch where you're going." William spat out as he hurried into a small barn to be alone.

Doyle's heart sank as he watched the brunette at Angelus' side follow the man into the barn.

**********

"And I wonder, what possible catastrophe came crashing down from heaven, and brought this dashing stranger to tears?" Dru gazed longingly at her prey.

William looked up startled, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes.

"Nothing. I wish to be left alone." he said, hoping she'd take a hint and leave.

"Oh, I see you! A man surrounded by fools who cannot see his strength. His vision. His glory."

William looked up at her in awe. No one had ever spoken to him so wonderfully.

"That and burning baby fish swimming all around your head!" she said waving her arms and shaking her hips.

Ah! She was crazy. Well, that explained it then. 

He jumped to his feet as she moved closer.

"Uh, that's close enough. I've heard tales of London Pick-pockets. You'll not be getting my purse, I tell you!"

"Don't need a purse." she responded, moving even closer as he backed away toward a wall.

"Your wealth lies here. And here." she said, pointing to his head and heart respectively.

"In the spirit and imagination. You walk in worlds the others can't begin to imagine."

William could feel himself getting caught up in her words.

"Oh, yes!" he whispered, then shook his head trying to come to his senses.

"Uh, I mean no. I mean.. uh, mother's expecting me."

He was now completely backed up against the wall, and still she moved closer.

"I see what you want. Something glowing and glittery. Something,... effulgent."

"E-effulgent?" he whispered.

"Do you want it?" she asked, very softly.

"Oh, yes! God, yes!" he said longingly.

Suddenly her beautiful face transformed into a demonic visage and she sank her fangs into his neck as he gave himself to her.

Doyle's heart ached as he watched the man, whom who he had grown to like, have his life drained away.

********** 

Chapter Four~ There's More To This Life

"Why are you upset? You knew that William was going to become a vampire." Whistler asked Doyle as they watched the now undead William reek havoc on the night streets of London.

"I guess I liked William. Now he's the soulless demon that everyone hates."

Whistler nodded in understanding.

"Spike was ruthless, did a lot of damage. But all the evil he did couldn't even begin to rival Angelus'."

Whistler and Doyle were now standing in an abandon mine shaft watching the four vampires who were hiding from an angry mob.

Angel had Spike pinned to the wall by his throat, while Darla and Dru watched from over his shoulders.

"Perhaps it's my advancing years that makes me so forgetful, William. Remind me, why don't we kill you?" Angelus asked with a snarl.

"..ike.." he chokes out under Angels' bruising grip.

Sighing in frustration, Angel releases him.

"Spike! It's Spike now. You'll do well to remember it, mate." he says casually, walking away to find a bottle of whiskey he had stashed away down there.

"I'm not your mate! And when did you start talking like that?" Angel demanded.

"We barley got out of London alive because of you! Everywhere we go, it's the same story, and now...." Darla was furious with Spike's ridiculous behavior.

"You've got me and my women hiding in the luxury of a mine shaft! All because 'William the Bloody' wanted the attention. This is not a reputation we need." Angel said, finishing Darla's sentence.

Spike took a gulp of liquor and laughed at the two glaring at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I sully our good name? We're vampires!"

"All the reason to use a certain amount of finesse!" Angel retorted.

"Bullocks! That stuff's for all the cuffs and collars crowd. I'll take a good brawl any day."

Angel walked over to him, shoulders tensed.

"And every time you do, we become the hunted." he growled.

"I think our boys are going to fight!" Darla sang out to Dru.

"The king of cups expects a picnic!" the brunette giggled and clapped her hands, "but this is not his birthday!" Dru looks at Darla expectantly.

"Good point." Darla says before returning her attention to Spike and Angel.

"Yeah. Do you know what I prefer to being hunted? Getting caught!" Spike was saying.

"That's brilliant strategy, really." Angel straightened the lapels of Spike's corduroy coat.

"Pure cunning."

"Sod off!" Spike pushed Angel's hands away from him, then laughed.

"C'mon! When's the last time you unleashed it? All out fighting in a mob... back against the wall... nothing but fists and fangs? Don't you ever get tired of fighting fights you know you're going to win?" Spike asked, turning serious.

"No. A real kill, a good kill. It takes pure artistry. Without that, we're just animals."

"Poofter!"

The two of them started struggling. Angel pushed Spike across the room and broke off a piece of a wooden support beam to make a stake. He pinned Spike to the wall, and tried to shove it into his heart.

Spike grabbed the stake, struggling to keep it from going in, and began to laugh.

"Now you're getting it!" he shouted with a cocky grin.

Angel sighed a heavy sigh as he backed away.

"You can't keep this up forever. If I can't teach you, maybe someday an angry crowd will." He looks down at his irreverent grandchilde and grins evilly, " That or maybe the Slayer!"

"What's a slayer?"

**********

"After that, he was obsessed. To most vampires, the Slayer was this object

of cold sweat and frightened whispers. But he never hid. He sought her out. And to quote him, 'If you're looking for fun, there's Death, there's Glory, and sod all else, right?' Fighting or 'Dancing', as he likes to say, with the slayer was his whole reason for living." Whistler explained as he munched on a hot dog that had appeared out of nowhere.

"So, he fought a slayer?" Doyle asked.

"Spike was only able to catch up with two of them, not for lack of trying though. He killed both of them. Buffy was to be his third."

"And she was too strong for him?"

"Not really. He almost had her a couple of times. But I think that deep down, he could never bring himself to kill her. He enjoyed 'dancing' with her too much. He ended up making a pact with her to stop Angel from destroying the world."

"This was when Angel had lost his soul, right?"

"Spike had never though of Buffy as anything more than a worthy opponent, until Angel told him something that shook his very being."

Suddenly Whistler and Doyle where in an abandon warehouse. 

"Sunnydale, January 1998."Whistler said.

Spike sat pouting in a wheelchair as Dru talked to her blindfolded doll. The door crashed open, and all attention turned toward Angel who came prancing into the room.

"You should have seen the look on her face, it was priceless! I know I'll never forget it!" he grinned wickedly.

"So you didn't kill her then?" Spike asked, trying to look like he really didn't care.

"Of course not."

While Angel and Dru where completely oblivious, Doyle noted the look of relief that crossed the blonde vampire's features. The look had been so fleeting, Doyle wondered if he'd actually seen it at all.

"I know you haven't been in the game for awhile, mate. But we do still kill people. Sort of our, _raison det're_, you know?" Spike looked annoyed.

"You don't want to kill her, do you?" Dru looked up from her doll. "You want to hurt her, just like you hurt me." she smiled.

"Nobody knows me like you do Dru." Angel was proud of his insightful childe.

"She better not get in our way." Spike said, trying to break into their moment.

"Don't worry about." Angel said, still smiling at Dru.

"I do!" Spike growled, clearly jealous of the attention that Dru was giving Angel.

"Spike, my boy! You really don't get it, do you?" Angel said knocking a heavy box off a conveyor belt and onto the floor.

"You tried to kill her, but you couldn't. Look at you! You're a wreck! She's stronger than any slayer you've ever faced. Force won't get it done. You've gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl, you gotta love her."

*********

This was the first time Spike had every thought about loving the Slayer. The thought disgusted and excited him at the same time. Eventually, it led him to ask her for help in bringing Angel down." 

"This is when Angel was trying suck the world into hell, right?"

"Right. He'd been in a wheelchair for months, and was upset by the fact that Angel and Dru had practically ignored him the entire time. When Dru had gotten sick a couple of years before that, Spike had taken wonderful care of her, always making sure that she felt loved. He was betrayed by the fact that she didn't return the favor, but blamed Angel for her infidelity. So basically, he told Buffy that he'd help her stop Angel, if she'd let him take Dru and leave the country. Poor kid had no one else to turn to, and so she accepted. He held up his end of the bargain, all though he didn't stick around long enough to make sure Angel was stopped."

"But Buffy was successful. That was when she sent Angel to hell."

"Yeah, and all was well with Spike and Dru, or so he thought. Our next stop is Brazil, 1998."

**********

Dru was sitting on a bench outside a bar. Behind her stood a big slimy demon with dripping antlers, a fungus demon. Spike was pacing in front of them furious at the fact he had caught Dru kissing it, again!

"Why couldn't you kill her?" Dru demanded.

"You're the one who keeps bringing her up! I haven't said a word about the bloody slayer since we left California! She's on the other side of the planet, Dru!" Spike yelled.

"But your lying!" Dru jumped to her feet and walked over to him.

"I can still see her, floating all around you! Laughing! Why? Why can't you push her away?"

"But I did, pet. I did it for you. And you keep punishing me! Carrying on with creatures like this!" he said, indicating the fungus demon.

"I have to find my pleasures, Spike. You taste like ashes!" she accused.

"So this is my fault now?!" Spike demanded.

"You're all covered with her! I look at you.. and all I see is the Slayer!"

*********

"So Spike came back to Sunnydale, to kill her. Prove to Dru that he could do it?" Doyle asked.

"Well, that was his original intent. He got side-tracked by that whole 'Gem of Amora' incident, but you where there for that." Whistler told him.

"Oh, yeah. I remember. But you know what? Now that I know where he was coming from, I almost feel sorry for the guy. Am I sick or what?"

"No, you're just human." Whistler looked down at his watch.

"Oh crap! We gotta hurry this up! Ok, let's see. Uh, after leaving LA, Spike came back to Sunnydale where he was captured by this group of army soldiers known as 'The Initiative'."

"Yeah, Angel told me all about it! They captured demons and did all kinds of weird experiments on them. Made me never want to go there." Doyle shuddered.

"They put a computer chip into Spike's head, it prevents him from hurting any human."

"Yeah, I heard that too. But how well could it possibly work?" Doyle asked, skeptically. 

"Let's just say that he can't even aim a water gun at anyone without experiencing extreme pain in his head." 

"OK, but that still doesn't explain why he's been willingly helping the Slayer lately. What happened that started that?"

"Let's just say he woke up one day and realized he was in love with her."

"What?! You've gotta be kidding me!" 

"He couldn't kill her, couldn't even fight with her. And yet, for the past three years she was all he thought about. He calls himself 'Love's bitch'. Although, when he said that, it was about Dru. Now he's in love with Buffy, he wishes he wasn't, but nevertheless he is." 

"Does she know?"

"She suspects something, but honestly, she's been too busy to pay much attention. Her mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and she also found out that there's a whole lot more to her little sister than anyone ever imagined. Then there's the latest evil, which is pretty darn evil as far as I'm concerned. Glorificus, Glory. She's not one of Them, but she's not that far down the ladder. At the same time her beau, Riley kinda lost his mind, and left her, so while she accepts Spike's help, she really hasn't noticed much. On the upside, her mom's gonna be okay."

"Well, that just makes it all better then!" Doyle said, angry for Buffy's benefit.

"Anyway, this brings us to today. Christmas Eve morning."

**********

Chapter Five~ Glory

Spike settled down in his crypt, for a long winter's nap. It was still a good three hours till dawn, but he was worn out. He had patrolled alone tonight, letting Buffy spend time with her family. She hadn't even said thank-you. She never did. But she let him help out, maybe one day she'd wake-up and see how good he was for her. Or maybe she'd come to her senses, and stake him. Spike didn't care, as long as she did one or the other. And soon!

He had once told her that she was in love with death. Craved it. He knew he was right, but he also knew that the same thing could be said for him. 

Spike thought back to the night that she had told him that her mum was ill. He had wanted to console her, but didn't know how. He ended up sitting silently on her back porch, by her side. He remembered thinking how incredibly strong she was, and how much he really did love her.

While Buffy had been lost in thoughts of her family, Spike was thinking about himself and his future. He realized that he didn't want a future without her in it. She'd never let him turn her, and so he would probably kill himself when she finally did die. These thought startled him. He had never, since becoming a vampire, even thought of taking his own life, or unlife. Sure he enjoyed courting death, especially if that death was in the form of a petite blonde with the title, 'Slayer'. But dying had never been an option! Now, it was a desire.

It would be so easy to just sit and wait for the sunrise.

Spike sighed and closed his eyes, trying to get comfortable on the cold stone slab that was his bed.

"Hallo, my Spike." Dru said coming in the door.

"What do you want?" he groaned.

She reached out and grabbed his chin with her perfectly manicured fingers.

"Look into my eyes! Be in my eyes. Be in me." she smiled and led the hypnotized vampire out of his crypt.

**********

Spike didn't know what Dru was up to, but he played along, pretending to be under her power. She led him to a huge house, and he had to stifle a gasp when he saw the owner.

Glory.

**********

"Buffy, I'm afraid I found another ominous prophecy." Giles said.

The gang was at the 'Magic Box'. The magic shop that Giles had taken over when the last owner died. Right now the, 'Sorry We're Closed!' sign was on the door and a very important Scooby meeting was taking place.

"Okay, what is it this time? World domination with coffee makers that think?" Buffy's question got her a bunch of strange looks.

"I have no idea where that came from." she said, sheepishly.

"As I was saying, Wesley came across a prophecy in the 'Scrolls of Aberjan'. It foretells the opening of the Hellmouth and the Slayer's death."

"But Giles, that already happened." Willow pointed out.

"Yes, but this one has a specific date to go along with it."

"When?" Buffy asked, her voice sounded loud in the unusually silent room.

"Twelve am, Christmas morning, the year 2000."

**********

Spike busted into the shop, a thick blanket over him for protection. He was surprised to see the whole gang there. Everyone was staring at Giles with their mouths hanging open.

"Oh, what now?" he asked.

"The Hellmouth is going to open, Buffy will die, and then the rest of us will die." Anya told him.

"And I know how it's going to happen." Spike said, gravely.

"Then maybe we can stop it!"

**********

Spike now stood outside Buffy's house, contemplating knocking on the door. 

He'd told the group about how Glory was using Dru to control him. Hypnotize him. She had told Dru how the Slayer's blood would open the Hellmouth, and that Spike would lure the Slayer there. Spike had had no intention of doing that, but still he agreed pretending to be under Dru's spell.

Giles had figured out that Glory wanted the Slayer out of the way so that she could concentrate on finding the 'key' she needed to get back to her own dimension.

After much argument, it was decided that Spike would continue to play along, and that he and Buffy would be able to take Dru down, no problem.

Spike hadn't said anything, but he was having doubts about that plan. Could he kill his own sire? Sure he loved Buffy, there was no question about that, but didn't he love Dru too? 

Buffy had agreed and told the gang that she was going home to spend the day decorating the tree and being with her family. She hadn't said anything to Spike, only that he should meet her at her house at 11pm that night.

Spike looked at his watch, 7:30pm. He sighed, then raised his hand and knocked on the door.

"Spike? What is it? Is everything okay?" Buffy asked anxiously.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I just.. well, I need to tell you something." he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Can it wait? I kinda wanted to spend my last day on Earth with my family."

Spike looked up at her sharply.

"What are you saying? You're not going to die tonight."

"I think I am." Buffy stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her.

"I have this feeling, and I'm at peace about it. I'm ready to go, Spike." she said, staring off into the distance.

"NO! Buffy, I'm not gonna let anything happen to you tonight! Don't even talk like that!"

Buffy turned and looked at him as if seeing him for the very first time.

"Why? Why have you been helping me? You want me dead, remember? You hate me!"

"No I don't."

"Why?!"

Spike looked away from her. He had come here to tell her that he loved her, and now was his chance. Summoning all his courage he looked deep into her eyes.

"I don't know how, or when, or why, but somewhere along the line, Slayer, I feel in love with you." There he said it.

"What?! No you didn't! You couldn't possibly.." she trailed off, but his love for her was shining in his eyes.

She'd had no idea. Hadn't allowed herself to think of why Spike had been so good to her.

"Is this what you cam here to tell me?" she whispered.

"Yeah. And also to ask you if I had a chance. I'm not talking about tonight, but maybe, down the road, just tell me I have a chance with you." he pleaded.

Her eyes filled with tears as she answered him.

"I'm sorry, Spike. But I can't. I won't. I've been hurt so much, I won't go through it again! I'd rather die!" she practically screamed.

Her heart shattered to a million pieces as she watched his face fall. He looked down for a moment, and when he looked back up, his face was blank. And as cold as stone.

"Spike?"

He didn't even blink.

"Spike, I'm sorry. Please, say something." she begged, shaking his shoulders.

"Goodbye, Buffy." he said, then hurried away into the night.

**********

Spike had gone straight to Willy's intent on getting extremely drunk. 

He sat at the bar staring at his drink and then did something he hadn't done since he was a human. He prayed.

"God, our Father in heaven. I've never been a praying man, or demon. But if you're there and if you can hear me, please, show me the way. I'm at the end of my rope. Please, show me the way.

It wasn't five minutes later, when some big ugly demon came up and punched him square in the jaw and threw him out the door.

"That's for being a traitor!" the beast yelled before slamming the door.

**********

Chapter Six~ The Christmas Wish

Spike stared down at the churning ocean waters from his place high on a cliff. He had driven to this place that was about 10 miles north of Sunnydale. He'd decided that he was ready to see his first sunrise in 120 years, and this was the best view he could think of. 

Suddenly, a man walked up behind him, and jumped off of the cliff to the water below.

"Help me!" he yelled as he fell.

Spike looked at the man in shock. That guy looked just like that Doyle chap that had worked for Angel. Buffy had said he was dead, how could he be here now?

Curiosity got the best of Spike and he jumped in after the man and easily pulled him ashore.

**********

After building a fire on the beach to help dry their clothes, Spike stared curiously at Doyle.

"So, why'd you do it, mate?" he asked.

"Do what?"

"Why'd you jump of the cliff?" 

"To save you, Spike." Doyle answered, rubbing his palms together to warm them.

"What are you talking about? I saved you, remember?"

"You were gonna sit there and wait for sunrise so that you'd go *poof*. I stopped you."

"Yeah, well it ain't sunrise yet, and how the hell did you know that I was going to that?"

"I know a lot about you, William." Doyle said.

"Well I ..."

"Your mouth's bleeding, Spike." Doyle interrupted.

"What? Oh, yeah. Just an answer to a prayer."

"No, no, no! I'm the answer to your prayer, and not just yours! You'd be surprised at the number of people who've been praying for you tonight!"

"Oh, so what are you? Some kind of angel?"

"Sort of."

"You were a demon before you died though, right? Does this mean I'm gonna have to spend eternity answering prayers?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out!"

"Well, you've just successfully talked me out of killing myself then! Be on your way!"

"Liar! You think the world would be better off if you killed yourself."

Doyle sighed and looked Spike right in the eye.

"You know that if you kill yourself, Buffy will just blame herself."

"She doesn't need me."

"Oh yeah? Who's been helping her out these past few weeks, huh? How many demons have you stopped from killing her because she wasn't paying attention?"

"You're right. It would have been better if I'd never been born. Then soldier boy wouldn't have left and he could take care of her."

"What did you say?" Doyle asked.

"Are you daft? I said I wish I'd never been born!"

"So be it!"

**********

Chapter Seven~ Oh Little Town of Sunnydale

Suddenly, Spike found himself back in Sunnydale. But everything looked completely different. Vampires roamed the streets in droves, unafraid. The few humans he could see were in cages and on leashes. What the hell had happen?

"This is what life would've been like, if you hadn't been born." Doyle said, coming up from behind him.

"This is nonsense!" Spike said, although he wasn't quite so sure.

"Your lip isn't bleeding anymore."

Spike put a hand up to his mouth, "Yeah, well vampires heal fast, that doesn't prove anything."

Doyle went up to one of the cages and opened it up.

Spike jaw dropped open in shock. It was Tara.

Doyle grabbed her arm and hauled her out of it throwing her to the ground before Spike.

"What are you doing? You can't treat her like that!" Spike growled at him.

"Hit her." Doyle said, stone-faced.

"What? No!"

"Why not?"

"I don't want to. And besides, I have this chip in me head that won't let me hurt humans."

"Oh, quit being a sissy and hit the girl!"

Finally, Spike did as he was told. He felt no pain.

"Well? You know what this means?" Doyle asked expectantly.

"That she really is a demon?"

"No! It means no chip!"

"The chip is gone?"

"Gone, never existed! You weren't born, remember?"

"I wasn't born, so Sunnydale is now a vampire resort. And you think that this will convince me to live again? Ha!"

"You haven't seen it all yet."

"Ok, let's start with Xander and the witch. Where are they? Are they miserable? Dead?"

"Let's go see."

***********

Spike and Doyle where now in the old factory. It had been transformed into a royal throne room. And up on the throne, was none other than the Master himself.

"If I hadn't been born the Slayer wouldn't have killed the Master?!" Spike asked.

"Nope. But it actually had to do with the fact that Giles wasn't there..."

"Wait, wait...There they are!" Spike watched in amazement as Willow and Xander strolled up arm-in-arm and bowed before the Master.

"They're vampires!" Spike said, astonished.

"They're two of his favorites. They come in line right behind Darla and Angel." Doyle said, shaking his head sadly as the other two appeared.

"Angel doesn't have his soul?" 

"No. Without Giles here to guide Buffy, things moved pretty fast between her and Angel. She hadn't been here two weeks, when it was sionara soul. Angel killed her family, friends, all except for Willow and Xander. As you can see, he turned them." Doyle explained.

"Wait a second, why wasn't Giles there?" 

"Do you remember, when you where alive, befriending a boy named Henry?"

"Yeah! Henry was me best mate. I saved his life once..oh."

"Yep. Henry Giles died that night on the docks, because you weren't there to save him. He was never able to marry and have children. Henry was to be Rupert Giles' Great-Great Grandfather."

Suddenly Spike's face took on a grave expression.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"I don't think you should see it, Spike. C'mon, haven't you seen enough."

"No! I want to know what happened to her! Is she dead?"

Doyle sighed and shook his head.

"She wanted to die. But Angelus wouldn't kill her."

"What. Did. He. Do?!" Spike bit out.

"He turned her."

"Oh. So where is she."

"It's not a pretty site." Doyle tried to warn him.

"How bad could it possibly be?" Spike asked.

**********

Spike found Buffy in a cage three floors below the throne room. She was chained to the wall naked, with nasty red welts all over her. Seeing her like this made him cry aloud.

"Why?" he gasped out.

"When a Slayer is turned, she keeps her soul. Basically Angel did the same thing to her that he did to Dru, only she didn't have someone like you to protect her from Darla's wrath."

"But Angel wanted her, why else would he have turned her?"

"Buffy went insane, Slayers are not meant to be vampires! He quickly grew tired of her and gave her to Willow and Xander as a present. The two of them spend hours down here, torturing her. She is nothing more than their pet."

"No! This isn't right!" Spike grabbed the key from the wall and let himself into the cage with her.

He quickly undid her chains and covered her with his leather duster.

"Buffy? Can you here me?" Spike pleaded as he looked into her empty eyes.

"She's lost her mind, Spike. She's retreated so far into herself, she'll never come out."

"This is all my fault." he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

Spike reached into his leather jacket and pulled out a stake. He bent and kissed her cold lips before ramming the stake into her heart.

Doyle looked at him, questioningly.

"I love her, I had to release her soul, even if all of this isn't real." Spike explained, running his fingers through the pile of dust.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?!" shouted a voice from above.

"Run Spike!" Doyle shouted, shoving the vampire toward the exit.

Willy had been made a guard for the Master, one of the few humans who worked willingly, and so had been spared his life.

All he knew was that some bleach blonde vampire had staked the 'kitty', as Willow liked to call her, on his watch. If he didn't catch that guy, Willy was as good as dead.

**********

Chapter Eight~ Spike Wishes You a Merry Christmas

Spike ran for all he was worth, and suddenly found himself back at the cliff, staring down into the water.

"God!?" he called out.

"I changed my mind, okay? I wish I had been born! Please, Please, I want to live again!" he dropped to his knees sobbing.

"I want to live again." 

"Spike?!" Willy called as he finally caught up with him.

Spike vamped out and growled at him.

"Don't make me kill you, Willy!" 

"What are you talking about, Spike?"

"Hey, you know who I am?"

"Of course I do! The Slayer's had me looking all over town for yo-hmpf." Willy's words were muffled by Spike's arm as he pulled the man into an embrace.

"Let go! Sheesh! You're getting blood all over me!" Willy complained, pulling away from the vampire.

"My mouth's bleeding! Hey, Willy! My mouth's bleeding!" Spike yelled.

He looked at Willy curiously for a second, then punched him in the face.

"Ow!"

"Ahhh! Ha! Ha! Pain! Glorious pain! I have a chip in my head!"

Willy looked at Spike like he'd lost his mind.

"I gotta go find Buffy! Merry Christmas, Willy!"

And with that he took of running.

**********

"Merry Christmas, you wonderful Sunnyhell, you!" he called as he ran past the welcome to Sunnydale sign.

"Merry Christmas, droopy boy and demon girl!" he called as he passed the pair in the park.

"Happy Hanukkah!" He called out to Willow and Tara as he passed by their place.

"Happy Holidays, Watcher!" he yelled as he passed 'The Magic Box'.

Then he grew serious as he quickened his pace and headed toward the old high school and the Hellmouth.

*********

Chapter Nine~ It Came Upon a Midnight Clear

Buffy faced off against Dru, ready to kill or be killed.

"It's all your fault, Slayer! You stole my Spike from me!" Dru called as she lashed out her.

"Well, you know Dru, maybe if you hadn't dumped him in Brazil, he wouldn't have come back here to me!" Buffy called as she retaliated with a well placed punch.

Dru started laughing then.

"Silly, silly Slayer! I dumped Spike because he was in love with you! Didn't you know?"

"What? Spike was in love with me before he came back to Sunnydale?"

Dru gasped as she looked into Buffy's eyes.

"You love him too! No! You took my Angel, I will not let you have my Spike!" Dru called out, preparing to jump on her.

Suddenly, she stopped and fell to the ground clutching her sides with laughter.

"The stars! They tell me my Spike has left to kill himself! He will die because he thinks the Slayer will not love him. Him? Who is him? He does not exist, no!" Dru scrambled to her feet her eyes large.

"It's changed! Everything is the same again! Spike!" Dru began to scream and cry, tugging on her hair.

Buffy watched the scene in awe. She felt sorry for this vampire. There was no denying it, Dru was insane.

And suddenly Spike was there lifting the mad vampiress up into his arms, rocking her against his chest.

"I want to go home, Spike! Please. Send me home, I am so lonely here." she begged clawing at his arms.

Spike gave her a kiss on the forehead before pulling a stake from his pocket and ramming it through her heart.

He dropped the stake and feel to his knees beside the pile of dust.

Silent tears fell from his eyes, and Buffy walked over and sat down beside him.

**********

They sat there, not touching or saying anything for hours.

Suddenly, it occurred to Buffy that dawn was moments away and there was no real protection from the sun close by.

"Spike?" she whispered.

"We need to get you inside."

"I don't want to go inside." he said, not moving an inch.

"I lied earlier." she said, looking down.

"I told you that you had no chance with me." 

"No, you weren't lying. Buffy, I don't want to be another Riley, just a substitute for Angel."

Buffy flinched because she knew that that was true. Riley had been a substitute for Angel. She had not loved him.

"Spike? I know that I didn't love Riley. I couldn't love him. That's why I chose to be with him. If I couldn't fall in love with him, then he couldn't hurt me. But, God Spike! I could fall in love with you so easily! And that scares me, because getting over Angel was the hardest thing I've ever done. I don't think that I could survive getting over you!" she began to cry.

"But, if you asked me to, I just might change my mind." she whispered.

"What?"

"Ask me again Spike."

"Will you give me a chance, Buffy?"

"Yes, I will."

He wrapped her up in his arms and kissed her like she'd never been kissed before. 

"That's a great start.. oh my God! It's almost sunrise!" 

She shot to her feet looking frantically for a place that would be shaded.

"It's all right, love. I don't need to go inside." Spike said.

"Oh, no! I'm not going through this again!" Buffy yelled, but stopped when she saw Spike laughing at her.

"What's so funny?" Then it dawned on her.

For the second time ever, it was snowing in Sunnydale!

"You look really cute all covered with snowflakes, Slayer." he grinned at her.

"That's not funny! You know, I al.." she was cut of by Spike's mouth as he silenced her with another kiss.

When he released her he looked down at the pile of dust that had once been his Dru.

Buffy noticed the look, and grabbed his hand.

"I'm sorry, Spike. I know what it's like to have to kill the one you love." she said.

Spike looked her in the eye with a genuine smile on his face.

"I didn't kill the one I love." he said and kissed her again.

Just then bells started ringing from a nearby church, announcing that Christmas had arrived.

"Hey, Buffy! Did you know that every time a bell rings, a demon gets his wings? Good going, Doyle!"

~The End


End file.
